For a meltdown, which a tantrum can lead to with many children on the Spectrum, there isn’t a lot you can do but wait it out. I find isolating my son during his meltdowns tends to work wonders. Isolating can be as simple as taking your child and placing them in the shopping cart, or standing between them and the stimuli causing the issue. My son would often have meltdowns in the middle of the night when triggered by night terrors, and I would lie beside him and act as a barrier to keep him in his bed. After a while, the meltdown would pass, and he would be fine.

Tantrums can be handled in the same manner, so long as you are firm and consistent with your reactions. For both my sons, we are firm when they don’t get what they want. We make sure they know what is and is not acceptable, and try isolating them from their want. Right now it’s the iPad that tends to be the cause of tantrums with our youngest, and we isolate him from it by putting it up. At times we will send him to his room with the door open, and stand in the doorway if necessary.

What you do isn’t nearly as important as making sure you are consistent. Children on the spectrum need regiment, consistency, and predictability in order to function. If you give in once, they know it’s not a hard rule and will continue to try to manipulate you to give in again (just like regular children). Of course it’s not fair for parents who already have been worn down by Autism, but they are still just children and will push boundaries.

If you don’t get a good method working for you by the time your child starts kindergarten, make it a topic of the IEP. There are specialists at your IEP that should have some ideas on what has worked with other children, and can definitely give you some great advice.